Monday, November 30, 2009

Gift Ideas for the Female in your life

This little gem is a completely restored 1967 Shelby GT 500. All the serial numbers match. Every woman I have ever known has had a jones for a monster Mustang. And The Shelby GT500 is the King Cobra, Chevy killer. This bad girl will pass a corvette so fast, the Vette will loose paint as the GT goes by. Shelby GT500s became famous after their appearance in two movies. First in the San Francisco, chase scene of the movie "Bullett" with actor Steve McQueen at the wheel. Second, as the Hot, finicky Eleanor in the movie "Gone In Sixty Seconds" driven by Nicholas Cage. This car is on sale at E-Bay for a paltry $125,000.00

The 2010 Harley Davidson, Soft-Tail Classic. All the power, style and attitude as the other HD Big Twin offerings. But the seat clearance is 23 inches, to suit the more demure stature of the feminine rider. Almost every motorbike comes with extras. But when you buy a Harley, They throw in an attitude for free.

If black, Red, Blue, Silver or white don't excite your girl. Then you can always take the custom road, and have a pink scooter made to order. A proper build will lighten your wallet by $75,000.0-$125,000.00. But she's surely worth all that and more.

Of course you must consider all the soft skin on your sweetie. Because nothing ruins an after ride rub-down worse than road-rash. So deck her out in Fox Creek Leather's Womens Classic. $375.00

Again, protection is the word of the day. And Harley does it best. Great looks, fit form and function married together in a boot that will look great at the end of her denim clad stems. $120.00

Also protection for those dainty digits, also comes from the Harley store. These gloves will protect from rain, cold and the occasional stone tossed up by the cager in front. Plus the armored knuckles will give an advantage when the ignorant midnight shift gas station attendant starts to get lippy.

And for when the ship hits the sand, The Heckler & Koch Compact 45, in .45 ACP, is designed with the smaller hands of the female persuasion in mind. Plus the gas operated slide helps to dampen the felt recoil of the big bore .45 ACP.

With all the vibration and tough recoil from these other toys, she will need a watch. A tough watch. But a tough watch with a little class. I recommend the Rolex Oyster Perpetual, with diamonds and 18kt gold. $75,000.00

Don't forget sweets for the sweet. A 5 pound Hershey Bar of solid milk chocolate should satisfy any sweet tooth or chocolate cravings.

Of course she deserves a chance  to get away from it all. But where to? I have been every where in this big blue world. But I'm trying to think like a chick. So, I'd say the French Riviera. Specifically Saint Tropez, France. Hotel rooms start around 190Euros to 360Euros per night and look something like this;

Of course you don't want to risk getting your paint scratched by shipping your shiny new motorbike to the French coast. But you don't want to go pedestrian either. May I suggest running with the devil? No, not THE DEVIL.
This devil;

The Lamborghini Diablo. $340,000.00. In pink, cause it's a chick car. And it ain't for you, dude. It's for the woman you love. And if you behave, you might get to ride in the shotgun seat. But only if you're really really good.

Actually all of these objects are mere tokens of your appreciation and esteem. They might get you a hug, or a peck on the cheek. But if you're looking to win her heart. Nothing says love like a 2kt Diamond solitaire.

 You can't even see where the Titanic hit that chunk of ice.
Out the door for $30,000.00. But a diamond is forever.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Christmas gift ideas for the MAN in you life.

The Beginning is a good place to start. All men need to be mobile. It's in our genes. Ever  since the invention of the wheel, mankind has been finding more and more interesting ways to get around on it. The 2010 Harley Davidson FATBOY can be under your tree for around $17,000.00. And it looks like this...

Or this...

Of course you want him to style while he's in the wind. And nothing looks or wears better than a naked leather Classic Biker Jacket. This one can be found on-line at Fox Creek Leather. And goes out the door at around $350.00. It has a lifetime guarantee and is covered for almost everything except roadscrapes, bullet holes and the occasional knife fight.

 Proper foot gear is essential. The toes and ankles must be covered. And noting does it better than Leather.The most comfortable footwear in the world can be found in your local Harley Davidson store. These Brakelights ar my personal favorites.Reinforced. Lightweight. Full inner lining. And no laces to get tangled in your drive chain. Approximately $100.00

And if you live anywhere north of Mexico, you'll need to keep your hands warm. I have tried every brand and style of gloves. And in every instance, gloves from the Harley store outlast, outperform and excel in every category over others I have tried. This particular glove is battery heated. And will protect the pinkies from the most frigid conditions.MSRP $170.00

Although you will never win any style points by wearing a high visibility conspicuity vest. This model will pass the test and get you on base at any US Military facility in the world.  It meets all Military specifications. Has velcro attachments for storing and displaying ID Cards. And it has elastic sides to give a  snug, non-flapping fitment. It can be had for under $60.00 at

Your man not into the heavy metal thunder, rough, tough, easy rider persona? But stiil wants to experience the freedom and open space feeling of the wind in his face? This fancy little Ferrari can be had for a cool $300,000.00

Looking for something a little less motorbike? But still want something to raise the testosterone. May I suggest firearms? Stay away from those wimpy little bullet hose style 9mm. And go with a big boy toy. The venerable Colt .45 ACP. Model 1911 A1. It was ergonomic, before that word even existed. And the lines are classic. The .45 was designed to knock down drug crazed enemy agents, when the .35 calibers were ineffective at doing so. A 9mm is a .355 caliber. And the US military adopted it in place of the Colt, because our NATO pals all used it and we wanted to be like them.

An upgraded version of the same Colt, is the Colt XSE. Trigger, hammer and grips slightly modified for performance.

But if you want big time knock down power and attention grabbing bang. The Smith & Wesson model 500, chambered in .500 S&W Magnum is right up your alley. If you thought Dirty Harry Callahan's .44 Magnum was a big gun. You ain't seen nothing. This stainless steel marvel goes for around $1700.00

This picture is a side by side comparison of the potent .44Mag, next to the .500Mag.
The new big boy in the handgun world squirts a 385 grain projectile out the barrel at 1980 feet per second. For you non-math, or non-ballistics informed types; That's the same as throwing a .80 ounce fishing sinker at 1350 miles per hour. This is in the hand-cannon category. The shock wave alone from discharging this bullet is enough to cause permanent ear and eye damage (Ear splitting and Eye popping have a new definition). So adequate ear and eye protection is highly recommended. For the shooter and the observers.
This .50 caliber comes with a built in muzzle brake and shock absorbing handgrips to reduce felt recoil, which is considerable. But shooting a gun that doesn't kick, is like kissing a girl who won't kiss back. It starts out OK. Then gets boring, fast.

If all of these suggestions seem a little too manly, or dangerous, and something more four wheels is on you mind. Check this.

The Ferrari ENZO. It can be under your tree with a ribbon on top for a cool $670,000.00 Ribbon not included.
Merry Christmas, Y'all.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

My First Follower.


I've been doing this BLOG thing for awhile now. I have amassed a grand total of 30 followers. And posted an amazing 127 items. I would like to thank each and every reader, follower or  not. But I would be remiss if I failed to point out MY first follower. Blasé.
He said it was because I listed Grand Funk as one of my favorite bands. But I think it had more to do with our similar Carolina upbringings. Either way, This dude stuck with me. He gave me advice and I found his sense of humor engaging. But his take no prisoners attitude and his bullet proof logic are addictive. His silver tongue style of eloquence has corralled an impressive list of followers. Most of which are of the female persuasion. And he doesn't wear a leather jacket, or ride a motorbike. GO FIGURE!

But rest assured, there is no sugar coating, or syrup poured on his entrees. However, there is plenty of down home flavor. So go and check him out. He has advice on everything from relationships to carpet cleaning to aquarium setup and maintenance. But before you leave him a comment, beware. He don't tolerate stupid. So have an opinion, but don't suck. Thanks Buddy. Have a great week.

Times are Tough all over


Friday, November 20, 2009

My Momma told me these things.


I should have listened sooner.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Brothers and Sisters

You tell these guys there ain't no God...

Thankful Thursday

 "The President of the United States in the name of The Congress takes pride in presenting the MEDAL OF HONOR posthumously to


For service as set forth in the following CITATION:

    For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as Rifle Squad Leader, 4th Platoon, Company K, Third Battalion, Seventh Marines (Reinforced), Regimental Combat Team 7, First Marine Division (Reinforced), on 14 April 2004. Corporal Dunham's squad was conducting a reconnaissance mission in the town of Karabilah, Iraq, when they heard rocket-propelled grenade and small arms fire erupt approximately two kilometers to the west. Corporal Dunham led his Combined Anti-Armor Team towards the engagement to provide fire support to their Battalion Commander's convoy, which had been ambushed as it was traveling to Camp Husaybah. As Corporal Dunham and his Marines advanced, they quickly began to receive enemy fire. Corporal Dunham ordered his squad to dismount their vehicles and led one of his fire teams on foot several blocks south of the ambushed convoy. Discovering seven Iraqi vehicles in a column attempting to depart, Corporal Dunham and his team stopped the vehicles to search them for weapons. As they approached the vehicles, an insurgent leaped out and attacked Corporal Dunham. Corporal Dunham wrestled the insurgent to the ground and in the ensuing struggle saw the insurgent release a grenade. Corporal Dunham immediately alerted his fellow Marines to the threat. Aware of the imminent danger and without hesitation, Corporal Dunham covered the grenade with his helmet and body, bearing the brunt of the explosion and shielding his Marines from the blast. In an ultimate and selfless act of bravery in which he was mortally wounded, he saved the lives of at least two fellow Marines. By his undaunted courage, intrepid fighting spirit, and unwavering devotion to duty, Corporal Dunham gallantly gave his life for his country, thereby reflecting great credit upon himself and upholding the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service".

USS Jason Dunham (DDG-109)

On March 20, 2007, the Navy reported that a new Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer would be named the USS Jason Dunham, in his honor. In a formal ceremony in Scio on March 23, 2007, Navy Secretary Donald Winter officially announced the naming of the USS Jason Dunham (DDG 109). The keel was laid at a ceremony on April 11, 2008, at Bath Iron Works in Bath, Maine. The ship was christened on August 1, 2009, with Dunham's mother, Debra, acting as the ship's sponsor. Among family members and officials present at the christening, also in attendance were Dunham's Kilo Company commander, Major Trent Gibson, and Sgt. Bill Hampton and Cpl. Kelly Miller who were next to Dunham when the grenade detonated, and whose lives he saved when he threw himself on the grenade. A piece of Dunham's helmet will be encased in the mast.

Monday, November 16, 2009

In defense of women

The lovely, intelligent and very outspoken Ann Coulter. She is probably the most vilified person on the internet. Don't believe me? Turn off your safe search, and run a google image search for Ms Coulter. 80% will be either hideous caricatures or Photo-shopped pornographic portraits or swastika spangled images of her. Of the remaining 20%, most are attached to blogs that suggest she be raped into shutting up. Or being married off to Islamic Facists, or even censored because the young college Nazis (democrats), don't believe she has the right to speak. And demand she be silenced in the Land of free speech. I didn't loose my left leg in the Navy, so you could practice censorship my friends.
Well I know this won't win me any popularity contests. But I don't care about that. I admire Ann Coulter. She may not be very tactful or courteous. But she speaks her heart. And I believe what she says is true. YES. I am an extreme right wing conservative. I own guns. I'm an NRA Member. I vote early and often. I haven't missed an election since the voting age was dropped to 18. I spent 21 years, 5 months and 8 days in the US Navy. 16 of those years were at sea with my finger hovering over the button or a trigger. My shore duty tours were spent ensuring the next generation of sailors had all the knowledge they needed to remain war-ready. I am an anachronism. I believe in chivalry. Honesty. And in Christ Jesus. I am not very religious. Religion is responsible for some of the worst atrocities in the history of mankind. But I do come from a part of America, where Gentleman is a birth right, and not an act of congress. Where gentlemen stand up when a lady is being insulted. So I'm on record; every thing Ann says, goes double for me...
I asked my wife; "If you die before me, is it okay if I marry Ann Coulter?" She said "Yes."

Now for my next damsel in distress. Miss Carrie Prejean. What on earth did she do to warrant such extreme dislike and negative attention from the likes of CNN and MSNBC? She had the unmitigated gaul to tell Larry (Viagra) King, he was being in appropriate. But only after Mr. Viagra asked her about the settlement of her case against the Miss America Pageant. She had already told him she was not allowed to discuss the details. But he kept picking at her. Afterward, her former boyfriend, was quoted on CNN as saying "Now, you get to see the real Carrie." What was so terrble? She didn't raise her voice. She did not call names or throw a tantrum. I question her so called "boyfriend" and his motivation. If you had nude photos of Miss California, Would you keep them to yourself? Or would you weasel out and brag to the world? Money is a great motivator. I wonder how much TMZ paid for those photos. Or did he do it just for bragging rights.
So what did Miss Prejean do? Pose for nude pictures? Yes, but so what? Looking at pretty women is no crime. Our God is in the business of making pretty women. It's what you do after looking that makes the difference. And then it is your problem. Not the woman's.
No, her crime is being a Christian woman in Post liberal America trying to be noticed by espousing her beliefs. Some here-to-fore unknown, misogynistic, homosexual asked her a loaded question at a Beauty Pageant. She had the intestinal fortitude to speak her mind in public. And spoke out against homosexual marriage. This is the issue she is being chastised for. She did not say anything about homosexuals per say. She spoke against homosexuality.
If homosexuals wanted to simply be accepted as homosexuals, that would be fine. Homosexuals are no different than your common adulterer. But, they aren't satisfied with that. They don't want the 90% heterosexual world population to accept the 10% homosexual population. They want you to accept homosexuality. They want you to accept the act. They want you to condone the act of homosexuality. "We were born this way." is their new mantra. Then why aren't serial killers and child molesters given the same latitude? Because homosexuals are made, not born. The proof is evidenced in identical twins. There are documented cases of identical twins, were one is heterosexual and the other is homosexual. Yet both have exactly the same DNA. If homosexuality were actually a birth trait. It would have died out after the first generation. No heterosexual coupling. No homosexual children. The old joke applies. If your parents had no children. You won't either. There is no case, documented or otherwise, where the homosexual act ended in conception.
But homosexuals still have the right to enjoy life in America, right? Yes they do. So that means they have the right to get married in America, correct? No. The problem is not with the definition of the word marriage. The problem is in the definition of the word "right." The truth is that in America, no one has the RIGHT to MARRIAGE. Marriage is a priviledge, granted and licensed by the states, just like hunting, fishing and driving. If it were a right, as the Homosexual activists claim. No state could license or restrict it. Or charge a fee for it. Why do you think states aren't allowed to license gun ownership? Because it is an individual right of the people, spelled out by the constitution. If it were not so. America would have been a totalitarian dictatorship long ago. Marriage is denied to other groups in the US besides just homosexuals. Brothers are not allowed to marry their sisters. First cousins are forbidden in most states from marrying each other. Mentally incompetent people are also restricted by law from marriage in many states. Children under the age of 15 in some states, 12 in Arkansas, and 18 in most states are denied the privilege of marriage. It is purely a matter of money. Marriage in America is licensed to allow the procreation of the next generation of tax-payers. Anything other than traditional marriage is bound to end in being a tax burden, rather than a taxable asset for generating revenue.
The fact that America's religions are still allowed to officiate at weddings in the US is amazing to me. Pleasing. But amazing.
For my Mexican and Canadian readers, Please excuse my use of the term AMERICA when I mean The USA. My words are not meant to impugn, exclude or belittle you. All Americans are not in the USA, I realize this. But All the USA is in America. And it is out of habit, I use the term America when referencing the USA.
As for the rest of the US citizens, welcome. And please remember. You have the right to be offended by everything I say. Enjoy and exercise your rights daily and leave me a comment.
One last thought: What qualifies misogynistic homosexual to sit as a judge of a women's beauty contest?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Musical Interlude


Friday, November 13, 2009

This couldn't wait...

Heads up to all Microsoft Windows users: If you’re running Windows 2000, Windows XP or Windows Server 2003, stop what you’re doing and immediately download and apply the MS09-065 update released earlier this week.

Security researchers say it’s only a matter of time — days not weeks — before malicious hackers start exploiting one of the vulnerabilities via booby-trapped Web pages or Office (Word or PowerPoint) documents.

The specific vulnerability — in the font parsing subsystem of the win32.sys driver — provides an entry point for hackers to take complete control of an unpatched machine without any user action beyond normal browsing or opening a rigged document file.

A proof-of-concept exploit has already been fitted into the Metasploit point-and-click tool. According to Metasploit’s HD Moore, the code triggers a BSoD (blue screen of death) from a Web page. With some modifications, Moore expects to get reliable code execution very soon.

Microsoft’s MS09-065 bulletin says an exploit was already publicly available before the update was ready on Patch Tuesday (perhaps this one released since August?), meaning that malware authors have gotten a long head start researching entry points for attacks.

Please keep a few things in mind.
1. You are responsible for patching and defending your computer.
2. Beware who you trust. Even I am just some guy you met on the internet.
3. If you have technical questions feel free to send me an email at krippledwarrior[at]

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Classic Black Friday

From top to bottom: The King and Barbara Stanwyck, The Doobie Brothers, Cher, Bridgett Bardot and Bo Derick. Once again I humbly bow to my FASHIONISTA MENTOR, THE NICNACMANIAC. Besure to check her blog for some truly wonderful fashion and decorating ideas.

Thankful Thursday

The President of the United States in the name of The Congress takes pride in presenting the MEDAL OF HONOR posthumously to


for service as set forth in the following CITATION:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as a Rifleman with Company M, Third Battalion, Third Marines, Third Marine Division in action against enemy forces in the Republic of Vietnam. On March 24, 1969, while serving as Point Man for the Second Platoon, Private First Class Coker was leading his patrol when he encountered five enemy soldiers on a narrow jungle trail. Reacting instantly, he warned the Marines following him and wounded one of the enemy soldiers with his M-16 rifle. When the enemy retreated, Private First Class Coker's squad aggressively pursued them to cave. As the squad neared the cave, it came under intense hostile fire, seriously wounding one Marine and forcing the others to take cover. Observing the wounded man lying exposed to continuous enemy fire, Private First Class Coker disregarded his own safety and moved across the fire-swept terrain toward his companion. Although wounded by enemy small arms fire, he ignored his injury as he resolutely continued to crawl across the hazardous area and then skillfully threw a hand grenade into the enemy positions, suppressing the hostile fire sufficiently to enable him to reach the wounded man. As he began to drag his injured comrade out of the enemy's killing zone, a hostile grenade landed on the wounded Marine. Unhesitatingly, Private First Class Coker grabbed the grenade with both hands and turned away from his wounded companion but, before he could dispose of the grenade it exploded. Severely wounded but undaunted he refused to abandon his comrade. As he moved toward friendly lines, two more enemy grenades exploded near him inflicting still further injuries. Possessed only with the safety of his comrade, Private First Class Coker, with supreme effort, continued to attempt to crawl and pull the wounded Marine with him. His heroic deeds inspired his fellow Marines to such aggressive action that the North Vietnamese fire was suppressed sufficiently to enable others to reach him and carrying him to a relatively safe area where he later succumbed to his extensive wounds. Private First Class Coker's indomitable courage, inspiring initiative and selfless devotion to duty upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service. He gallantly gave his life for his country.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Happy Vetran's Day!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, The National Anthem...


Monday, November 9, 2009

You've never seen gymnastics like this.




Sunday, November 8, 2009

Pity party is over

By now the whole world is aware of the humiliation imposed on poor little Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV Music Video Awards. AWE poor baby. Mean old Kanye West interrupted her award speach to announce that someone else had a better video. Poor little lady. She looked like someone just crushed her kitty. The ensuing uproar was heard around the world. CNN, FOX NEWS, Google MTV, and even My Blogger Buddy Blasé posted about the incident. And he openly admittwed that he didn't watch the show. I don't know anyone who watched it, besides myself. I never miss the VMAs. The awards started in 1984, and has been on my calendar for over 20 years. So, if no one watched it, How come everyone knows about it? And everyone wants to vilify Mr. West? Ms Swift should drop to her knees and thank him profusely. He made her a star. An overnight sensation. Her career zoomed like a bullet. And if he had stayed off the dais, would you have ever heard of Taylor Swift? Can you even name the song she won for? Or what category she was nominated in?
Let it die already. There are a couple hundred singers in the world who would pay Kanye to get that kind of attention. If you want to complain about an incident at the 2009 VMAs, complain about the fact that Jack Black asked everyone in the audience and at home to hold hands and join him in a prayer to the "DARK LORD, SATAN" (His words, not mine).

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Phone pheak.

In the days of my youth, I was told; "Not to play on the phone." It was a much simpler time back in the 50s and 60s. There were no long distance calls without dialing the Operator first. No computer voice machines, only real live people to talk to. And they couldn't dial a code to call you right back. No caller-ID. Just the possibility the other party might recognize your voice. Oh yea. I almost forgot. Party lines. Those were the best fun. There was no better way to stay up with the goings on in the local area. And of course it was the best way to get black mail info on the potential baby-sitters. Our phone number was only four digits long, and our ring was one long, followed by two short rings. Real rings on an actual bell. No chimes or tones or music. I didn't yet know the concept of the phone book. And there was no re-dial button. So all prank calls were strickly random and never repetitive. Heck, there weren't any buttons on the phones. Only a rotary dial. The only phone in our house was in the hallway, mounted on the wall outside my bedroom door. Other than the fact that it was dead center of the house, I have no idea why it was located there. It was high enough that I couldn't reach it until around age six.
So from approximately 1958 the world as at my mercy. After the first months bill arrived, I was doomed to playing on the incoming calls only. But there were plenty of those to keep my mind thinking of ingenious ways to frustrate the people who were unfortunate enough to call our house while I was at home. From early on, my voice was deep enough that callers couldn't instantly tell they were dealing with a child. And it added to their frustrations. Proper protocol directed that you ID the residents name and say "Krip speaking. May I help you please?"
For me this quickly became "Yea, what cha want?" The caller would always say "Who is this?" To which I would answer "I don't know. I can't see you." That would always lead to another question looking for someone more adult in nature, like; " Is you father at home?" To which I would respond "Wait and I'll check." and then I'd hang up. My parents would ask who was that, and I'd say "a salesman", or "wrong number" or truthfully answer "they didn't say."
Inevitably the phone would ring again a few seconds later an I was the Ring Master once more.
I would cheerfully say "Hello." To which the other party replied "Who am I speaking to?" "ME" was my terse response. "Can I speak to your da... ah, er, no wait, what is your name?" This guy was learning from past experience. But I was only getting started. I would smile and ask "Who were you trying to call?"
"Is this the Warrior residence?"He said.
"Were you calling the Warrior residence?" (I knew now this was a salesman).
"What number is this?" He said.
I said "What number did you dial?"
My parents were in the living room and heard none of the trouble I was giving this guy. And usually by this time one of them would shout "Who's on the phone?" The caller always heard them and I would ask "Who are you?"
Trying to save his intro for a potential sale he said "Let me speak to your parents." I would then yell back to my parents "He won't tell me." To which they always ordered "Hang up." I would ask the caller "Have you ever heard this sound before?" and then hung up.
A few moments later the phone rang again. On the off chance that this was a new caller, I started from the top, "Yea, What cha want?"
"Listen kid, I want to talk to your parents."
This was a hard-head, he was more persistant than a Jehova's Witness, with an AMWAY franchise. But not to worry. My dad was now stomping toward the phone. He would ask "Is that the same caller as before."
"Yes sir." He would then take the phone and proceed to tell this unfortunate fool how dangerous it would be to dial this number again. And then he would hang up. There must have been some sort of "Unofficial Do Not Call List." Because after a discussion with my dad, very very few ever called again.
I never out grew the affinity to fool with people who called my phone. Most people I know feel it an interruption to get a sales call. I love it. A chance to run my improve. Expand my vocabulary. And try the patience of another human, to the breaking point. I have had so many salespeople hang up on me, I lost count decades ago. I never went to the sailor language or name calling. I didn't need to. I even had one lady hang up on me. and then callback to yell "ASSHOLE" and hang up again.
More fun than sales calls are the occasional child prank callers with the old "Is your refrigerator running?" shtick.
But the most fun are the wrong number calls. "Hello, is Debbie there?"
"Yes. But she's in the shower with my brother."
"Who is this?"
"We're doing your girlfriend and you want me to tell you my name. Are you smoking crack?"
One of my favorites was a security company that would call and ask for my passphrase. They had a wrong number and would insist that they would send the cops if I didn't give the passphrase. In the beginning I would try to explain the situation. Because someone might actually be in trouble, and this call was delaying help arriving and then I'd hang up. But after the third time, the game was on. I gave them enough warnings to get the right number for their customer. And still the calls kept coming. Some times late at night. Some times I'd play the bad guy and say things like "I'll be gone before you get here." and slam the phone. Other times I'd play the victim and shout "Help! Hes got a knife and he's gonna..." click. I always got a grin. But never said anything that would delay an emergency response. This series of calls went on for eight months. And finally ended when we moved to a new home and got a new phone number. My phone number is unlisted, for the sake of my family's privacy. But I am not on the do not call list. I wouldn't have it any other way. Call me some time. But caller beware. Make me laugh or suffer my wrath...



Thursday, November 5, 2009

Thankful Thursday

"The President of the United States in the name of The Congress takes pride in presenting the MEDAL OF HONOR posthumously to


For service as set forth in the following CITATION:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as Automatic Weapons Gunner for Naval Special Warfare Task Group Arabian Peninsula, in support of Operation IRAQI FREEDOM on 29 September 2006. As a member of a combined SEAL and Iraqi Army sniper overwatch element, tasked with providing early warning and stand-off protection from a rooftop in an insurgent-held sector of Ar Ramadi, Iraq, Petty Officer Monsoor distinguished himself by his exceptional bravery in the face of grave danger. In the early morning, insurgents prepared to execute a coordinated attack by reconnoitering the area around the element's position. Element snipers thwarted the enemy's initial attempt by eliminating two insurgents. The enemy continued to assault the element, engaging them with a rocket-propelled grenade and small arms fire. As enemy activity increased, Petty Officer Monsoor took position with his machine gun between two teammates on an outcropping of the roof. While the SEALs vigilantly watched for enemy activity, an insurgent threw a hand grenade from an unseen location, which bounced off Petty Officer Monsoor's chest and landed in front of him. Although only he could have escaped the blast, Petty Officer Monsoor chose instead to protect his teammates. Instantly and without regard for his own safety, he threw himself onto the grenade to absorb the force of the explosion with his body, saving the lives of his two teammates. By his undaunted courage, fighting spirit, and unwavering devotion to duty in the face of certain death, Petty Officer Monsoor gallantly gave his life for his country, thereby reflecting great credit upon himself and upholding the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service."

Silver Star citation

"For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action against the enemy as Platoon Machine Gunner in Sea, Air, Land Team THREE (SEAL-3), Naval Special Warfare Task Group Arabian Peninsula, Task Unit Ramadi, in support of Operation IRAQI FREEDOM on 9 May 2006. Petty Officer Monsoor was the Platoon Machine Gunner of an overwatch element, providing security for an Iraqi Army Brigade during counter-insurgency operations. While moving toward extraction, the Iraqi Army and Naval Special Warfare overwatch team received effective enemy automatic weapons fire resulting in one SEAL wounded in action. Immediately, Petty Officer Monsoor, with complete disregard for his own safety, exposed himself to heavy enemy fire in order to provide suppressive fire and fight his way to the wounded SEAL's position. He continued to provide effective suppressive fire while simultaneously dragging the wounded SEAL to safety. Petty Officer Monsoor maintained suppressive fire as the wounded SEAL received tactical casualty treatment to his leg. He also helped load his wounded teammate into a High Mobility Multi-Purpose Wheeled Vehicle for evacuation, then returned to combat. By his bold initiative, undaunted courage, and complete dedication to duty, Petty Officer Monsoor reflected great credit upon himself and upheld the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service."

Bronze Star citation

"For heroic achievement in connection with combat operations against the enemy as Task Unit Ramadi, Iraq, Combat Advisor for Naval Special Warfare Task Group – Arabian Peninsula in Support of Operation IRAQI FREEDOM from April to September 2006. On 11 different operations, Petty Officer Monsoor exposed himself to heavy enemy fire while shielding his teammates with suppressive fire. He aggressively stabilized each chaotic situation with focused determination and uncanny tactical awareness. Each time insurgents assaulted his team with small arms fire or rocket propelled grenades, he quickly assessed the situation, determined the best course of action to counter the enemy assaults, and implemented his plan to gain the best tactical advantage. His selfless, decisive, heroic actions resulted in 25 enemy killed and saved the lives of his teammates, other Coalition Forces and Iraqi Army soldiers. By his extraordinary guidance, zealous initiative, and total dedication to duty, Petty Officer Monsoor reflected great credit upon himself and upheld the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service."

USS Michael Monsoor (DDG-1001)

In October 2008, United States Secretary of the Navy Donald C. Winter announced that DDG-1001, the second ship in the Zumwalt-class of destroyers, would be named Michael Monsoor in honor of Petty Officer Monsoor.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Where in the world have you been?

One of my favorite places to visit is Australia. I have been to Perth, Geralton, Darwin, Brisbane, Sydney. The people are very friendly and hospitable. All of the big cities are near the coast, because th interior is basically desert waste land. Coastline, swamplands and arid deserts. In some places, the transition is only a matter of a few miles.
The farther north you go, the more tropical the climate becomes. Darwin, Australia was actually bombed by the Japanese during WWII. And American troops helped to defend against the invasion. A fact not lost on the residents, when US Navy ships make a port call there. It is a country where sailors are encouraged to go ashore in uniform. Usually sailors want to blend in. But Austalians really go all out to entertain military visitors. Also,before arriving in a foreign port, Sailors are treated to an indoctrination. Rules of the host country, things to avoid, ands the always important list of off-limits establishments. This is where you find out where all the fun places are located. The old saying goes; "Sailors will go places to get a beer and see girls, Marines wouldn't go without a machine gun."
Well, they told us that the people will by your drinks if you show up in uniform. There are four women for every man. There are no off-limits establishments. And to avoid getting in a fight, because Australians fight dirty. There are many wonderful things to see and do in Australia. There are a great many important things you won't find in a travel brochure. For example, the picture above of the man waving. He is shooing flies from his face. It is called the Western Australia salute. I'm not kidding. Flies. Not gnats. But big old buzzing flies. From dawn to dusk. And also everyone has heard of the shark perils in Australian waters. But there are even bigger threats to your health in the coastal waters. The very common Salt water Crocodile and the Box Jellyfish, claim their share of human lives. I have no idea why this isn't common knowledge.
There are other misconceptions about Australia. First, they are not looking for immigrants from America to move in. Jobs are hard to come by. Secondly, if there are four women for every man, somebody had eight every time I visited there (I wasn't married until I was 30). Australian men fight dirty. But no dirtier than a Carolina homeboy. The people call everyone Mate, or Love if they are addressing a member of the opposite sex. Women are pejoratively refered to as Sheilas. Australian men are notoriously macho. They will get a woman pregnant just to kill a rabbit. They think American football is girlish, because we wear pads. I have witnessed them drink beer to their fill. Gag themselves and yak up the contents and start drinking again. Beer, all beer is called piss. This was a fact I needed up front. But didn't get until later. As I was entering into a local pub (BAR), A fellow staggered out the door and banged right into me. He caught his balance, and with the most charming Aussie accent he said "Hey mate. I'm pissed."
To which I replied "Not as pissed as you're gonna be in a minute." We then proceeded to take a tour of downtown Knuckle City, with a brief stop at the Lights-Out Cafe.
When the locals find out you are from the USA, they call you "YANK" regardless of your Southern Heritage. Most are completely ignorant of American history. And some still refer to the US as a colony. But they mean no insult.
Kangaroos are looked on as pests, much like crows in the US. They can wipe out a field of wheat in one night. And farmers shoot them on sight. Pigeons are mostly non-existent. But Gray Cockatoos are everywhere. The Aussies think we have an accent. The Aussie accent is the same every where. There are no regional differences from North, South, East or West. Winter is in July. And there is no such thing as a white Christmas down under. Casual sex is referred to as a "SHAG." This is important so that you will know you are not being invited to get a haircut. Woody style station wagons and panel trucks are called shaggin' wagons. Again; They are not offering to trim your hair.
There is no place else in the world like Australia. And there are no other people on earth like the Aussies. If you get the chance to visit. Go. I give it six stars.
Oh yea, thatt big red hill in the above photo, is actually the largest Monolith (Single Rock) on this planet. It is called Ayer's Rock. It is almost dead center of the continent. And is where Meryl Streep, uttered the famous line "The dingoes ate my baby."

When your dog barks, do you look?

luna the killer whale socializes with dog. luna/L98 was a male southern resident (fish eating) orca who died march 10 2006 when he was hit by a large tug boat in nookta sound. luna lived a solitary life when he found himself alone hundreds of miles away from his feeding grounds.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A midweek musical interlude

The original hippie

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Gift.

There is much to be said for giving. The bible says God loves a joyful giver. And don't let the left hand know what the right one is doing while giving. Give those things which are God's to God, and those things which are Caesar's unto Caesar.
Then there are the many giving terms in the secular world: Give the gift of life. Give blood. Give till it hurts. Give to the poor. Give peace a chance. Give me shelter. Give it a go. Give me one more chance. But both sides agree: "IT IS BETTER TO GIVE, THAN TO RECEIVE."
So. What is the greatest gift you can give? World peace? It's not yours to give. A new car? A diamond ring? Gold? Frankincense? Myrrh? How about love? The apostle Paul says that without love all other gifts are worthless. But only God's love is pure, perfect and eternal. Your love, no matter how intense, is over at the grave. You can't give love once you're gone. There is a gift you can give that will last after you have gone to your reward. Unfortunately, it is the hardest gift you can give. Mostly because it requires you to give up so much to pass it on to someone else. It is so precious, some people make their purpose in life to not give it. They thrive on it. They revel in it . And they make sure everyone knows they won't give it. They protest it's too hard. No one should be expected to give that gift.
The gift I refer to is FORGIVENESS. It is the one gift you can give someone that will out last your life. It is also the one gift that you can give that is truly godly. One of Christ's last words were "Forgive them." in reference to the people who had just betrayed, accused, judged, flogged and hanged him on a cross.
What is it that you can't or won't forgive? The tailgater, who damaged your new wheels? That jerk who cut you off in traffic? The boss who passed you over for promotion? Your co-worker who talks about you behind your back? A cheating spouse? An unfaithful friend? An abusive parent? A drug addicted child? The thief who stole your car? A neighbor, whose tree sheds leaves into your swimming pool? The murderer who killed your loved one? That biker who just flipped you off?
All of these are egregious. And all of them have the potential to be life changing events. Your anger would be understandable, and justified. It is impossible to not be angered by one these episodes. And God recognizes this fact. Ephesians 4:26 says; "Be angry, yet do not sin." Anger in and of itself is not a sin. It is what you do with your anger that can result in sin. Revenge and hatred are the direction we are warned not to take. Revenge is treading on God's dominion. And hatred leads to unforgiveness. How can you forgive someone who does something so terrible as murder, or marital infidelity? Or the friend who talks behind your back? Remember three things.
One; Your forgiveness does not absolve them from punishment, either in heaven or in the courtroom.
Two; Your unforgiving heart only hurts you. There isnot enough hate in the world to make the other guy feel what you feel. And eventually, your emotions will kill you. Slowly. But, surely. Ulcers, depression, stroke, heart palpitations have all been traced to the emotions of the person suffering from these diseases.
Three; There is already somone in this world who you are willing to forgive. Regardless of the number or severity of indiscretion, you will always forgive yourself. That doesn't mean you have no conscience. It means you either drop it completely, or you give it to God, so He can take care of it for you.
How many times should you forgive someone? Jesus told peter 70 times 7. That equals 490 if you multiply. How many times have you forgiven yourself? I can't keep count of mine. But I probably go through 490 in the morning before lunch. So the math in the bible should read more like 70 times 7 as an exponent. Or 7^70. Punch that into your scientific calculator, and now you're talking about the kind of numbers God understands. 1.5 with 91 zeros.
Is this something that will affect your salvation? Certainly not. Your salvation is a matter of God's grace. If salvation could be earned, there would have been no need of Christ's sacrifice. Since I am unsure of my audience, I will not continue discussing the complexities of salvation. But forgiveness is essential. You need it, God requires it, and it's good for your health. It's a gift. Give it.